First contact with people from another nation can be quite difficult if a person is introverted. What can you do if you want to work/study in another country and to enjoy experiences with citizens of that country? This is about two shy Czech men, whom I came to know last year - Jarda and Jirka.

Jirka is a 20-yr-old 'gentle giant' from Prague, whom I met on my journey to Prague last April. He was 2m tall and at first glance, he looked like some axe murderer, or someone super-aggressive and violent, so I was really cautious when he sat near me on the coach, and especially when he smiled at me, waving his bottle of water, which he bought from Tesco.  There wasn't anyone else interesting on the coach ; only Czech gypsies. I said "Hello," to him and we started talking. Well, I talked, he listened and somehow during the next 24 hours we forged a bond of friendship. Of course, he was not a murderer. He was just very quiet and contrary to my initial impression, he had a very gentle soft-spoken voice. Maybe he thought I was a terrorist when he first saw me. Haha! "Don't judge a book by its cover,"as we say in English :-)

As we grew to know each other more and more in the subsequent months, I found out that his existence in England was minimalistic and very austere. He worked 20 hrs per week washing dishes in different restaurants in Oxford and the rest of the time he studied English ; one of those free courses offered by the local council. Unfortunately, in the 18 months that he had lived in England, he had not made a single English friend. He socialises with some other Czechs, and Slovaks, so it's natural that he did not improve his English.  Jirka was too shy to talk to any English person in either a pub, or club. Jarda had the same problem.
 
My story with Jarda began on a Czech website. We started talking about our love for a British tv programme - Dr. Who [ if some of you have heard of it ] and after a few days of talking together, I found out that he lived in England. His circumstance was different to Jirka. Jarda came here via the Erasmus programme. 

As part of his PhD studies, he was offered the chance to spend one year at a British university.  Like Jirka, he was very withdrawn, shy and did not want to spend his time in pubs, or even clubs. He attended lectures and seminars when he had to and the rest of the time he spent in his room in his four-bedroom student house. Jarda, his computer and his lonely thoughts. 

The three of us interact by Skype, but I've met Jirka in London. He helped me film a video with a friend from Holland.  Jarda's too scared to leave his room, so talking about meeting in Birmingham is something too difficult for him.  Our conversations are quite strange. Ehm, I mean with both of them.  We talk about weather, what we ate, what we did that day, and then there's always an awkward silence. I feel it's my duty to lighten the mood, so usually I try and crack a joke, and in my typical self-deprecating style. They laugh sometimes, if only to laugh at me rather than with me, but that's still all right.  From what I can see, it's to do with them being extra-shy, even though Jirka's 21 and Jarda's 28. 

There is a form of shyness, which continues into adult life. People with this adult shyness do not have the conversational and social skills which most of us learn by interacting with other people.  To talk with people effectively, one must, of course, learn by mingling with people. The more people we have experiences with, the easier it becomes to adjust our speech pattern and conversation topics as well as adjusting our humour to the situation and group we are with. I hope for Jirka and Jarda's sake that, with time, they find the confidence within themselves to interact with native Britons because it's the only true way to improve their English. It takes time and it takes courage, but it's the best way. 

I feel proud to be their first British friend. I think of them as my students because I try and correct their mistakes when we chat - because they asked me.  I think about Jarda and Jirka, and think how our first experiences with people from a different nation can influence us enormously.  The first Slovaks and Czechs I met, and lived with, in 2000-2002, influenced how I view Czech and Slovak people these past 10 yrs. Sometimes, I have bad experiences, but those first experiences with Tom, Laci, Adam, Jarda, Radek and Pavel will always give me so much reason to think positively about Czechia and Slovakia.