Last night at work I thought about something which can affect every relationship; independence. We exist as strong individuals, adding our strength, energy, knowledge and practical skills to the relationship. A balance is achieved when, if the relationship is good, the man and woman put in the same amount. What happens when independence is taken away from one person in the pair? Do they suffer, or does the other person try and compensate for them? This is a short story about a man who learned a female skill so he could give his partner what she needed.

Our story begins in a quiet little village. It was idyllic in every way for John and Helen, who moved away from the hustle and bustle of the big city to capture some peace and quiet in their life. They had been together eight years. To the observer, their relationship seemed perfect. Both had great careers, two fantastic young children, Polly and Sam, and this perfect little family had every reason to think life was beautiful. Everyone envied the equality in the relationship. Helen and John split the household chores so that whoever was home earlier would get things ready for the arrival of the children. It was a very unique 50-50 relationship. This perfect life was shattered one day when Helen came home from a visit to the doctor.

A few weeks earlier, she had headaches, which persisted daily and did not seem to go away. John helpfully suggested that she make an appointment to see Dr.Green and neither of them thought it would be anything serious. She was, after all, a healthy and fit 31-yr-old woman, so why to think something could be wrong? However, Helen arrived home with a pale expression and concern on her face. John took her hand and sat her down on the sofa, asking what the doctor said. Helen would have to go to hospital immediately for tests on her head.

John sent the children to their grandparents, then took Helen to hospital. Days passed with various doctors poking, pulling, pushing and puncturing Helen’s arms with needles, taking blood samples, etc. Both of them feared a tumour, and, unfortunately, after a week they were told the uncomfortable truth that Helen did in fact have a large brain tumour. It could be treated by various therapies, but she was left weak and unable to do anything for herself because she had zero energy. Instead of watching her deteriorate, John had the idea of making her life as normal as possible, so he started reading about make-up and hair.

Now, John was a man’s man. He was never interested in make-up, or hair, or “women’s things”. Still, he was an intelligent, sensitive caring man and if he wanted to learn something, he would put all his energy into learning about it. It didn’t matter what other men thought, or what other people thought. He was going to learn how to apply make-up to his beloved wife. He was going to learn about hair so he could style her hair. Despite the illness, he wanted her to still feel like a woman.

They only had another three months together, but each morning John would style his wife’s hair and he knew how to use make-up.  These small actions did not take away the illness, nor did they change the inevitable fact that Helen was dying, but it gave them special moments of love. The simple touch of the mascara brush, or comb, or his fingertips when applying some rouge, or using his careful hand to put on lipstick, meant so much to Helen. Make-up gave John the opportunity to do something extra gentle.

Helen passed away just weeks before her 32^nd birthday. The children and John were with her as she lay in her bed and closed her eyes for the last time – with full make-up and a beautiful hairstyle created by her husband, John.

Sometimes, a man has to do what a man has to do. He did everything he could, hoping that Helen would take pleasure in these small actions. I am interested in these “women’s things,” because maybe I will be in a situation like John. No-one knows for sure.